I was in college. My roommate and I had our own apartment. We both went to class, had jobs, and even paid our own bills. I will never forget the day I heard my roommate call back home to ask her mom to call and schedule her a doctor’s appointment. At the time I thought it was weird, but it wasn’t until later in my adult life I realized that this was a skill that my parents had taught me. I remembered vividly my mother telling me that if I wanted a haircut I could call and schedule the appointment myself. She told me what to say, practiced with me, and then stood there with me while I made the call. She gave me an opportunity to build my skills.
As you learn more about protective factors you will find that many of them are connected and build upon each other. Today’s protective factor, opportunities to build skills, is one that is a foundation to so many others such as high self-esteem, academic achievement, self- efficacy, and bonding. It is so important that we give our children the opportunity to build skills so that they can feel needed as they contribute to our home.
Simply giving them the opportunity to build skills is not enough. We must first give them the opportunity, then we much teach them what they need to know so that they can be successful. I could tell my 3-year-old to do laundry and give him the opportunity by handing him all the dirty clothes, however that doesn’t mean he will be successful, and in this case giving him the opportunity would lead to much more harm than good. We must make sure that the skills we are helping our children build are developmentally appropriate and that we have taught them what they need to know to be successful.
When we give our children the opportunity to build skills, we are increasing their self-esteem and self-efficacy. Not only are we helping our child grow emotionally, but we are also preparing them for life on their own. If you are having trouble coming up with ideas of skills to help your child learn I encourage you to first think about all the things that must be done to keep a home running smoothly. Grocery shopping, dishes, laundry, yardwork, cooking, cleaning, and money management are just a few that come to mind. Are there any of these tasks, or at least parts of these tasks that your child could do or help with? You might just find that if you give your child the opportunity to build skills you may even have more time to do the things you would like to do!
I encouraged you earlier to consider household chores and help your children build skills in these areas. I also encourage you to help your children build skills outside the home as well. Below you will find a list of skills and ideas for things you or someone you may know could help teach your child.
· Babysitting
· Laundry
· Washing Dishes
· Budgeting
· Making Phone Calls
· Introductions
· Making Plans
· Cleaning
· Public Speaking
· Making a Menu/ Grocery List
· Wants vs. Need
· Run Errands
· Making an Appointment
· Crocheting
· Sewing
· Hunting
· Yardwork
· Gardening
· Canning
· Driving
· Computer Skills
· Reading
· Time Management
· Organization
· Conflict Resolution
· Self-Advocacy
· Exercising
· Fishing
· Camping
· Cooking a Meal
· Volunteering
· Training Animals
· Photography
· Decorating
· Crafting
· Auto Maintenance
· Poetry
· Playing an Instrument
· How to say “No”