Strong Parental Bonding

Protective factors are factors present in a child’s life that make them less likely to use substances. This month the protective factor we are discussing is strong parental bonding. Research shows that children who have strong bonds with their parents and caregivers are at a lower risk of using substances.

When I think about this statistic, I think about the why behind it. Why are children who are bonded to their parents less likely to use drugs? First, these children probably care about what their parents think and don’t want to do anything to break the bonds they have with them. Second, it could be because they feel they have support and trust from their caregiver, so they don’t need to turn to substances to handle their problems. Or it is possible that they look to their parents as role models and want to follow in their footsteps. I believe the reasons could go on and on and most likely it is a combination of many reasons that makes them less likely to use substances.

Most likely, you could have guessed that this would be a protective factor, but now to the part that gets a little trickier. HOW? How do I build strong bonds with my child to prevent them from using substances? I think it is important to note that what may work for one child may not work for another child. It is important to meet your child where they are and recognize who they are to begin building bonds with them.

The Center for Communities that Care in Washington has a Parent Workshop called Guiding Good Choices. During this workshop the process of building bonds is broken down into 3 steps: Opportunities, Skills, and Recognition. These researchers suggest that the best way to build bonds with children is to make them feel like they are a meaningful and contributing member of the family. We must first give the children opportunities to be involved. This could be opportunities to be involved in family decision making, opportunities to be involved in the everyday tasks of taking care of a family, and even opportunities to spend time together. The next step is to provide the children with the skills they need to be successful when we give them opportunities. We must teach them how to do the tasks, how to make decisions, and how to bond peacefully with family members. Through giving our children the opportunities to be involved and teaching them the skills to be successful, this leads to the third step which is recognition. We must recognize our children for their positive contributions to the family. This could be through positive affirmations, a kind word, or even rewards of some kind. This lets our children know that we love and appreciate them and are thankful they are a part of our family. If you are interested in learning more about the process of strengthening family bonds I encourage you to contact us and sign up for our next Guiding Good Choices Parent Workshop.

Another way to build or strengthen our bonds with our children is through spending quality time together. I am completely aware of how difficult this can be, especially when the bonds are not strong. I encourage you to ask your children what they would like to do to spend time together. Of course, you may need to set parameters around their decision like a budget and schedule. You may be surprised at what they would like to do. I will give you a list of ideas of things that may be fun to do with your child and won’t cost a lot of money or time.

· Bake a Cake Together

· Take a Walk

· Grow a Garden

· Grocery Shopping

· Do a Puzzle

· Build Something

· Read a Book

· Watch a Movie

· Rearrange the furniture

· Visit a Park

· Take a Drive

· Attend a Community Event

· Attend a Sporting Event

· Play a Game

· Plan a Vacation

· Make a Dream Board

· Shop at a local thrift store

· Go on a Hike

· Go swimming at a local lake or river

· Go fishing

· Go camping

· Cook a Meal together

· Start a new TV show together.

· Decorate for a Holiday