College. Many of the youth I work with associate this word with one thing, FREEDOM. It may not come as a surprise to you that attending college is a risk factor for youth substance use. Of course, there are obvious reasons like the lack of adult supervision and changes in expectations. There may be some other reasons that contribute to youth using substances that you may not have thought about. You may feel that as a parent or caregiver that there isn’t anything you can do about it since they are no longer living with you, but we are going to discuss strategies you can implement and other protective factors that may help you protect your child against youth substance use.
Let’s begin by talking about the reasons many college students are at a higher risk for using substances. The first and possibly most obvious reason is the lack of adult supervision. Especially for youth who come from a household with lots of parental monitoring, the newfound freedom of living on their own may cause some youth to go a little too far. The expectations of parents or caregivers are no longer being monitored, and it may seem to the youth that there are no longer any consequences of not following their parents’ expectations. Another reason is that college can be extremely stressful. Many youths may find the academic portion or the responsibilities that come with living on your own to be extremely overwhelming. Often, this stress and overwhelming feeling can cause youth to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms and lead to substance use. Another risk factor that comes into play when youth attend college is having friends who use substances. When youth go to college, they are often forced to make new friends and may feel the need to use substances to ‘fit in’ with a new crowd. It is possible that using alcohol and other drugs may become the norm of the people they are around, and we know that these norms can also put them at a greater risk for using substances.
Now that we have established many of the reasons that going to college may put youth at a higher risk for using substances. Let’s talk about what you can do about it as a parent. It may seem like you have lost control and there isn’t much you can do once your child is out of the home, but as a parent there are things you can do. The most important work you can do to prevent youth substance use in college occurs before they leave home. You aren’t going to be there to monitor your child’s behavior while they are away at college, so your expectations may have to shift. We know that a crucial part of effective family management is not only having expectations, but also being able to monitor the behavior to see if those expectations are being met. Since you will no longer be able to monitor the expectations like coming home at curfew or checking their room for substances, you may find that you have to shift your expectations to things you can measure. Instead of the expectation being no drinking allowed, the expectation may shift for a college student to passing all their classes that semester. This is when the important conversation can come into play with your child. Talk to your child and explain to them that just because there is no longer a parental given consequence for staying out all night, there is still a consequence to that behavior. Talk to your child about how that consequence might play out like not making it to class on time or not being well rested for an exam. Then, reinforce to your child that your expectation is that they pass all of their classes that semester. You can monitor this expectation by asking your child for a copy of their grades once they are posted.
Let’s talk about stress. College can be stressful for lots of reasons. The overwhelming workload, hard classes, learning to balance work and free time, learning the responsibility of living on your own, working a job, financial stress.. I could go on, but basically we know that the transition of going to college can ultimately be very stressful for youth and stress can lead to substance use. Here are a few things you can do to help your child manage the stress that comes with college. There are two things you can do to help your child before they ever leave home. The first is to teach them skills. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, budgeting, waking up on time, studying, time management, working, and even relaxing are all skills necessary for your child to be successful when they are away at college. These are also all skills that they can learn before they ever leave to go to college. Think about it, if a child doesn’t know how to do laundry, then they are going to have to spend time learning how to do it once they go away at school instead of focusing on studying for an exam. As parents we need to teach our children all these different skills and give them a chance to practice these skills BEFORE they leave for college. This gives them a chance to learn, make mistakes, and ask questions before they leave the safety net of home. The other thing we can do is to make sure our children have healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with stress. We can’t prevent our children from dealing with stress in their lives, however we can teach them how to cope with it in a healthy way. Stress management can look different for different people, so it is important to help your child find what works for them. Exercising, meditating, reading, hanging out with friends, shopping, fishing, hiking... there are so many healthy ways to reduce the stress in our lives and it’s important that our children know what to do to reduce the stress they are feeling. We’ve talked about a few things you can do before your child leaves home, but what can you do when they are at college and dealing with stress? We can offer support. Whether it be through phone calls, text messages, sending care packages, or going for a weekend visit, there are lots of things we can do to show our children that we support them and that they are loved.
The last risk factor that we are going to address today is having friends that use substances and societal norms. Though it may not be possible for you as a parent to change the societal norms of college life, it is possible for you to establish strong positive norms with your child before they ever leave to go to college. If your child comes from a home, where using alcohol is not the norm, they will remember this, even if it seems like everyone is using alcohol when they are at college. Also, talk to your child, tell them your concerns and encourage them to find activities to join in college that they enjoy so they are able to meet new people in a safe way where they don’t feel they need to use substances to ‘fit in’.
In summary, going away to college is a big transition for many youth, and this transition does put them at a higher risk for using substances. For parents and caregivers this transition can be frightening as we all want our children healthy and safe. It is important to think about these transitions and begin planning for them long before they happen to help prepare our children the best we can. At the end of the day college and the freedom that comes with it is a great experience for many youth, and we just want to make sure we are securing protective factors in our children’s lives to prevent the harms of youth substance use.