This month’s protective factor is extended family support. I’m sure you’ve heard the term “it takes a village” to raise kids, and if you’ve been a parent for very long you know this is absolutely true. However, when it comes to that “village” some families are more fortunate than others. This month we are going to talk about how having extended family support is a protective factor for your child against youth substance use, and what you can do about it if you do not have these kinds of supports.
Let’s start with the why.. Having the support of extended family is a protective factor for so many reasons and it is strongly correlated with many of the other risk and protective factors we have talked about in the previous months. One reason having the support of extended family is a protective factor is they can help you watch the kids! A couple of months ago we had an entire blog post focused on how lack of adult supervision is a risk factor for substance use. Having the support of extended family can help negate this risk factor simply because they can be there to supervise your kids when you can’t. Family can also help provide your children with more strong bonds, which also prevents against substance use. Also, let’s face it, there comes a time during parenthood when it doesn’t matter what you say to your child, they simply can’t believe it because you’re the one saying it. This can be a great opportunity for trust extended family members to step in and have conversations with your child, and coming from someone else, they may be more inclined to listen. We can also go back to the protective factor of learning new skills, and this can be a great place for extended family to come in as well! I’ll never forget my grandmother teaching me how to crochet and my uncle teaching me how to drive a stick-shift. Most likely there are skills that many of your extended family members would love to share with your children! Finally, sometimes the best thing you can do for your children is take a break. Parenting is overwhelming and can be exhausting at times. When you are able to rely on the support of extended family members to refill your own cup, you will be able to be a better parent to your children.
I am well aware that not everyone has the support of extended family. Maybe you don’t live near family, or maybe you’ve decided it is best for you and your children to not have the extended family as a part of your lives. Just because you don’t have the support of extended family does not mean that you cannot create this type of community for your children. When I think about the lives of my own children, some of the most influential adults in their lives are not related by blood, they are simply friends who have turned into family. So if you don’t have a “village” I encourage you to find one. This may be friends, neighbors, church members, or even parents of your children’s friends. This type of support is a protective factor against youth substance use, and you may just find that it improves your own life as well.